Hello Diary! My name is Callum Ross and this is my first entry, the beginning of a new story, my new blog diary. This is basically a lifestyle blog where I will write about the things that affect my life. I am writing this just after 4am on the first day of 2021. This is a new year and a fresh start for everyone.
Firstly I will write a little about myself. I live in a small town in Fife (near Edinburgh) in Scotland and I have written for most of my life. I am gay, single and in my early 30s. I still live with my parents, although I hope to establish myself a little more this year. I would love to find a significant other to join me in my adventures.
I enjoy traveling, taking photographs, listening to music and playing video games. I feel that I’m not very good at communicating and connecting with others. I have a small number of friends but they are all valuable to me. I hope to incorporate each aspect of my life into this blog.
I enjoy keeping a diary and this will be my diary. A public blog that anybody will be able to read. I hope that this may be able to help others and/or just be generally enjoyable for anyone.
When I Started Writing
I started writing small pieces of poetry when I was in high school. Sitting in the school library during lunch times with a pen and paper by myself writing my favourite song lyrics. Somehow I discovered a bit of creativity within myself and before I knew it I had a decent sized collection on poetry. Although I hadn’t attempted to publish any of that until years later. I never kept my poetry online for very long and deleted my last website. I felt it just wasn’t the right time.
I’ve found much satisfaction from writing over the years. Especially writing in my various types of diaries over the years. My soon-to-be published ‘Lockdown Diary’ is a prime example of a product that I believe saved my life. There was times when I felt lonely, anxious and depressed and I felt as if I had nobody to confide in. That is the main reason I write as it’s not just a hobby for me, but a chance for me to confide in myself and organise my thoughts. Sometimes my creativity sparks and I write poetry and short stories, hopefully I will find the confidence to share those online throughout this year.
Why I Keep A Diary
I keep a diary for many reasons. I like to think of myself as an organised person. I could spend hours reorganising my CD collection, either physically or digitally, and it brings me satisfaction knowing that it is organised, everything being in the correct order.
When I started writing small pieces of poetry and letters I decided I would write a letter for my future self to read. It made me feel so good spending so much time on it and my “future self” really did appreciate reading what my “past self” had written. Instead of writing multiple letters to more of my “future selfs”, I decided to begin writing a diary.
This was almost a decade ago. I used a pen and paper and spent many weeks worth of effort into it. I got a little upset when I lost it (still lost to this day, I doubt I will ever find it) so I downloaded an app for my iPhone. It was the 7th March 2012 when I wrote my first entry and I was unsure how I could start so I introduced myself, who I was at that moment in time, I used formalities such as “Nice to meet you” and “I’ll write again real soon”. 46 entires later on the 11 January 2013 I wrote my last entry in that diary. Those 18,000 words I call ‘My 2012 Diary’. I feel as if that is a true capture of who I was then. Whenever I read it I feel like I was so innocent then. So much has changed and yet I am still that person.
My diary I wrote after that didn’t start until March 2017. It’s difficult to tell that it was the same person writing. I’ve been through so much, my 4-year relationship, amongst many other things. That diary I refer to as “Dear Callum”, as each entry begins with “Dear Callum” and ends with “Yours sincerely”. That diary includes my “Lockdown Diary” as I had originally aimed to write just once a month, I felt as if I had to write more because I had many struggles, as did many, at that time.
Whenever I start to write in a new diary, I write as if the diary is a complete new slate. So I always introduce myself and never assume that my diary “knows” very much about my friends or current life that I’m living.
I believe that everyone should consider writing a diary of sorts as it helps with anxiety and depression a lot. It helps to keep my thoughts and feelings organised and whenever I feel like I can’t speak to any of my friends, I will always be able to “speak” to myself via my diary. Sometimes keeping a diary could be a bad idea as it causes you to overthink your life a little bit and cause too much negativity – but I am an over thinker even without obsessively writing.
I want to remember the good and bad. Sometimes I wish to remember every single detail of an event that I would otherwise forget. That is why I want to continue to write.
My hopes for 2021
Most years I like to make ‘New Years Resolutions’ and this year is no different. This blog diary is my resolution. My goal is not to get fame or riches, but happiness and satisfaction with life. 2020 was a tough year for everyone and I know things will only get better. Last year was awful. It was terrifying. The entire world changed and there wasn’t very much I could have done about that. But by writing this on the 1st January 2021, I can say that I learned so much last year. I cannot let last year get me down and depressed anymore, I must move on and make the most of what I have.
I also find it fascinating that 2021 begins on a Friday and ends of a Friday. There are 53 Fridays this year so I hope that this blog will contain 53 different entries as I plan to upload a diary entry each Friday.
I hope that 2021 will be a much happier year as everyone knows how bad 2020 was. The first diary entry that I wrote last year was at the beginning of March and I feel as if I was extremely lucky to have captured my thoughts and feelings throughout the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. It was pure honesty. What I believe to be a true reflection of myself.
I have about 100 pieces of poetry I have written since my early teens.
I have several short stories that are unfinished and many more ideas written in my drafts
I have many distinctively different diaries – 1 of which is in the process of publication. I want to write about them in a future diary entry.
Future of ‘Callum Ross’
I have made plans for this blog for the last few weeks and I understand how much of a commitment this will be. But I am determined to keep this up for the rest of the year. I will upload a diary/blog entry each Friday and I aim for each entry to be around 1,000 words with each entry having 5 or 6 sub titles.
This is just the first day of 2021. The future is filled with countless possibilities and I hope to be the best version of myself possible. I want to record this entire year and hopefully it will be a better year than last year. I’m not entirely sure which direction I will be taking this blog. But if I promise myself to write every week hopefully I will have something that I can be proud of.
Thank you for being there for my first post and I will publish my next entry in a week on Friday 8th.