As from today, 2nd April, the ‘stay home’ rule has changed to ‘stay local’. That means that I’m allowed to go anywhere within my local authority area and I don’t need an essential reason to go out. That means if I wanted to get out the house to clear my head, to get fresh air or just generally go for an adventure to the beach at stupid times, I am allowed to.
As of writing this entry I am sitting in my car down one of the parks where I wrote many of my lockdown entries. I don’t have that feeling of ‘I need to escape’ these days, but this has been one of my stress and anxiety reliefs for many years. One of my coping mechanisms that I am able to reclaim. Sitting somewhere alone in my car with a nice view is such a nice feeling, I feel freedom and gives me time to reflect on much that has happened.
When Andy and I originally broke up I started driving going for short (and sometimes not so short) drives on my own with my music on full blast. That gave me a chance to just forget about how serious life can be for a few moments and to reflect on things that had happened.
By sitting here in this carpark at around 8pm as the sun hasn’t even set yet. I’m just thinking about how great this summer will be, or so I hope. To be able to go out at this time when it’s still daylight and the weather is a little warmer just fills me with so much joy. The chance to explore a new place and take some nice photographs and to take a stroll through some wooded area to find a nice place to sit is my actual dream adventure. I might even write about some of the places I go in future entries although I prefer not to say actual place names.
My Diary Video
I always wanted to create a vlog, to actually record myself talking about my day and talk about fun and random things. I never had the confidence to do that and whenever I did manage to record myself I would just delete it afterwards because I didn’t like the way I looked, or sounded, and I felt a little awkward. Sometimes when I hit the record button I would just stare into the camera like a deer in headlights, I’ve tried scripted and unscripted, but the result was always the same. Even now, I don’t think I’d ever be able to do that.
Instead I have converted my 2021 diary into a video format. I made some very basic music on GarageBand and have the words in my diary scroll on the screen as if they were credits at the end of a movie. I’m a little unsure if they will get any views but I wanted to utilise my YouTube account as I had deleted all my previous videos from years ago. So, I hope by the end of this year I will have at least 53 videos of my 2021 diary.
I also have hopes to attempt the project I started a few years ago as well. “The Writings of The Moon”, which I put a lot of time and effort into. I hope that I can upload them at some point this month. That project was taking some of my favourite pieces of poetry that I had written and presented in a video format with music I had made from GarageBand, a little like what my diary video is but the music was a little more experimental. There are 15 videos that I have that I will upload and hopefully they are liked. I will write more on that at a later date.
I read online the other day that the reason some people stay up so late at night even though they’re tired is because they want to regain control of their life. Many nights I will force myself to stay awake until 3 or 4 in the morning even though I get really tired around 11pm. I feel like my day is a little longer that way.
Sometimes when I play video games in the afternoon I feel a lot happier. As playing during the little hours is sometimes more draining. I feel more productive when everyone else is asleep, but perhaps that is only an illusion that I’ve let myself believe.
I bought myself some pyjamas. I haven’t worn pyjamas since I was 12 or 13! I have this theory that if I can get myself in the bath one night (I’m a shower kind of person usually) and get my pyjamas on, I could try and program my sleep schedule to be more suitable. Ideally I would like to be asleep before midnight and awake for around 8am but I doubt that’s ever going to happen. Though, thinking back to January/February of 2020 I was getting myself into that sort of routine.
Vaccinations at 46% (7.6%)
A small 3.5% increase in first doses of the vaccinations and over a 2% increase in second doses within Scotland. Vaccinations are already having an effect on the number of cases amongst the older and more vulnerable are dropping. 215 people are in hospital overall in Scotland and 21 in ICU: this figure won’t be updated until Tuesday as it is Easter weekend. Also, the next easing of restrictions should happen in 3 weeks so I’m looking forward to that as well if it all goes to plan.