More Normality

Changes to My Diary

So I have decided to make a few small changes to my diary. Of course my promise to update every Friday still stands. I plan to write my subtitled entires throughout the week, with this paragraph written on Tuesday, as by just writing on a Friday could be a little stressful. As for the 1,000 word target I set, I feel that doesn’t really apply anymore as most of my entries are double that target. I would also rather write far too much than not enough, I will write whenever I feel the need to. 

Keeping in mind the reasons for starting this online blog/diary. Primarily doing this for my mental health as I have done for many years before but also if someone was to read this and potentially help them then that is a bonus. As I’ve said in my first entry this year, I don’t expect fame or riches, but I would like to widen my reader base. This is my story but it is influenced by those around me. 

Also my daily diary page on my website hasn’t been updated for a while. I am still writing it every day! I will try to write a little more about each day and try my best to keep on top of my website. My goal is still to have all of my writing material on my website in same form by the end of this year. Perhaps I will include my daily diary entries in a slightly different format within my blog.

First Time Eating Out 2021

The restaurants have opened their doors for indoor dining and as part of my birthday celebrations I went for a meal with Nicola and Paul. I was really looking forward to it and it did not disappoint. I had a shower, shave, washed my face and then put on my good jeans and my best T-shirt. Nicola and Paul themselves looked like they made an effort also. This was the first time we were allowed to eat out in 2021 after the easing of some restrictions. 

For starters I had chicken fritters which is what I would usually have. For my main it was pasta. Nothing out of the ordinary but just being able to sit inside with my friends felt extraordinary. There was so much ambient noise going on and a little drama in the kitchen as they were rushed off their feet. As by social distancing measures, there were screens between each of the booths although you don’t really notice them. A mask is required in order to walk to and from your table as well. I think everyone has grown accustomed to what is now the ‘new normal’ and it doesn’t really bother me. 

I drove home myself, as we still took our separate cars, I put my music up a little. It was a nice 20 or so minute drive home but I started to get a bit of a headache. It must have been a little overwhelming being in a room with so many people talking and such a busy place. I usually avoid taking paracetamol where possible but I felt I had to take some. I then got into my bedroom and climbed into my bed to close my eyes for a little while. This was just the first time eating out this year, I hope that it will yet again become a regular occurrence for me and my friends. 

The next day, on the Sunday, Nicola messaged me asking if I wanted to go for a chippy and I was more than happy to accept the invite. We also went for ice cream and was so glad to see that the queues aren’t quite as big as we expected and didn’t have to wait so long. Hopefully this signals the return to more normality.

Plans to Eat Out Again

I met up with Rachel throughout the week and we sat down with an awesome view of a Loch and talked a little of our photograph skills. We attempted to capture a few photographs during the ‘Golden Hour’ when the sun is setting and the sky is lit up beautifully but the weather wasn’t all that great. We both see ourselves as pretty amateur photographers with our iPhones but some of the photos we have taken are absolutely spectacular.

We sat here for a few hours after going for a sun bed session. I hope to start going once a week again because I believe it makes my skin look much healthier and I feel better mentally for it, I am aware of the risks. We made plans for eating out in 2 weeks time, finally to go to Nandos together. I’m really excited about just being able to make plans like this freely, something that was so normal to us pre pandemic times and would usually be last minute plans. 

We might even go for a little shopping trip as it has been so long. We talked about going back to Amsterdam at the end of the year and I would love that so much. Obviously that is dependant on the travel restrictions at the time for both Scotland and the Netherlands.

Player 2

I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently, perhaps for a few years and I have mentioned it multiple times in my writing. I really think it’s about time I met someone, started dating, get myself a boyfriend/partner. Now is the perfect time for me to start dating again. I’ve tried many times over the last 4/5 years but I just find it too hard to connect with anyone. I miss being in a relationship so much. I don’t want to be with someone just for the sake of it, I just want to share my life with someone and to take an interest in their interests. Does that make sense?

The little things that I do or change myself and nobody notices or appreciates them. I bought myself a new earring, I have a stretched earlobe, and have worn the same style earring for about 7/8 years (I have about 3 that are the exact same style) and decided I needed a change. It’s not just the earring but all the little changes I make that nobody even notices or appreciates, apart. I understand that I make those changes for myself but just if I had a partner that could say something like, ‘I like the new earring’, would make me feel fantastic. 

It’s not all about aesthetics of course. I would love to watch movies and play video games and perhaps show off the kind of games that I play and hopefully expand my gaming interests of something they like playing. Ideally someone that can play scary games so I can hide behind a cushion. Maybe watch a movie that I wouldn’t even think about watching but I might really enjoy it. My friends are great, but going for adventures with someone special will make those adventures much more memorable. I’d like to stay over at a hotel somewhere far from home and enjoy a new scene and make some happy memories. 

Some of my friends may think I ‘fancy everybody’, but to be honest I find it hard to actually fall for someone. I really liked Ben from work and I honestly thought he felt a little different but I actually think he can’t stand the sight of me. I see him almost every day at work but he barely speaks to me, he might say hi if he is with anyone but makes it impossible to strike up conversation with. I tried to make conversation this week and he basically ran away from me, he just kept walking towards his car and just left, I felt so stupid and very embarrassed. I wrote him a letter last March, along with many other letters, I just wish I was able to give it to him and maybe he would fall in love with me. I still think he is metaphorically the best fish in the little pond. He would make a perfect player 2.

Vaccinations at 52.7% (26.1%)

There has definitely been very little progress of the first doses given in Scotland with just a 1.4% increase. A 3.7% increase of second doses given. More than a quarter of Scotland is fully vaccinated. As I think I’ve said in previous posts, I don’t obsessively read news about COVID every single day like I used to at this time last year. But I still read up the daily updates and I really do feel for some other countries that aren’t doing so well in their vaccinations. There is currently 68 people in hospital with COVID (that number was 67 this time last week) but that number has dipped to 58 twice this week. Unfortunately there has been 2 deaths in Scotland in the last 7 days. 

31.4% of all Scottish adults have been fully vaccinated. 1.26 billion people worldwide have received at least 1 vaccine dose. I think it is important to look for the ‘good news’ during times like these as that is a little harder to find as the media seem to only focus on the worst of the news. 

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