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A Late Update

A Quiet Week

I’m a little late in writing this entry this week as sometimes I write some ideas in my notepad of what I want to write about during the week. But this week I’m leaving it until the very last minute. After waking up for an almost 5 hour nap today, I am writing this at 11pm. I would say this week has been a bit boring. I have been a little anxious about coming to the end of my job as it is a temporary contract – I hope to write more about that next week. I guess you could say I’ve just been trying to get through this week as quickly as possible but I have happily just chilled out by myself after work with some video games and I’ve not really arranged any walks with any of my friends throughout the week although I did go for quite an epic walk last Saturday that I will write about today. I have also not really kept on top of my daily diary as I have just forgotten to write a few sentences each day.

A Normal Walk

Last weekend I met up with Lisa and her friend a little after lunch time for a walk. We had decided to do one of my more regular walks that is only really appropriate during the summer as all the paths can get quite muddy. Also it’s not very fun when it’s so cold you can’t stop for a rest break. It was rather difficult to park but we found spaces in the end no problem. 

I hadn’t been here since around October time. During normal times I would sometimes come here to sit in the car or for an evening walk. I know this sounds a little stupid, but we started our walk out going a direction that I have never been. So, although we are staying local due to travel restrictions, it still seemed as if I was somewhere new. It was quite sunny but still a little windy so I was wearing my thin hoody – not quite the weather for shorts yet. I think I may have to invest in a few new pairs of shorts for this summer.

Our walk in total was around 2 hours. In these far from normal times this walk felt more normal than ever. I guess you could say it felt just like a normal day apart from taking separate cars! There was an older couple with their daughter, she was a little older than me, and they had a dog. We held a gate open for them and it was nice to have that casual interaction, still keeping to social distancing. We came to a cross roads and I usually turn right but this time we walked straight, the map said that it was a dead-end but we decided to check it out. We came across a small wooden hut and we walked inside. There was an old man inside rolling a cigarette and he made small talk with us. He had said that he came to see if he could spot any birds/animals but wasn’t having any luck. We spoke about random things such as the swans and the pollution in the water. It was a nice little interaction and I can’t deny it made our walk that little bit brighter. The man left us with a smile on his face. 

We continued our walk and enjoyed the sun. I managed to get a few nice photographs as well. I’ve really gotten into taking photographs of the scenery of my adventures. I was away from the house for only 3 hours but it feels like I was away all day. I really need to focus on my fitness as I haven’t been walking as much and as far as I would have liked. I cannot wait until the nights get lighter as my favourite time to go out is at 7/8pm when it is still daylight and no need for a jacket. I have a feeling this summer is going to be a hot one. I also hope that restrictions have been lifted by then so our adventures can be a little farther and not just a part of daily exercise. 

Vaccinations at 33.8% (2.7%)

A very small increase in the people vaccinated this week in Scotland. The government acknowledge this and state that the next 2 weeks the numbers should be increases at an even faster rate than previously. I hope this is true but as it stands 33.8% of the Scottish population have had their first dose and 2.7% have had their second, which is roughly 1 in 37 people. The number of people in Hospitals in Scotland have dropped significantly with 512 people in hospital today as the vaccine seems to be having an effect on those numbers. As I check the numbers every day I don’t watch the daily briefings anymore as I don’t

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A Small Reflection

A Personal Reflection of COVID-19 Pandemic

A reminder to myself that I am doing the right thing by writing in this diary. The messages I have already received, from 3 different people, are enough to confirm that making this diary public in the way I have is a good thing. As this in my 10th entry I am already almost 20% through this ‘2021 project’. This week has been pretty awful mentally and not much I can really write about as I’m unsure where my mental health stands at the moment so decided to do a little reflection on the last year. In my almost 10 years of diary writing this is probably the most honest I have ever been.

On the first day of march 2020 the first confirmed case of COVID-19 was discovered in Scotland. The first confirmed case in England was much earlier on the 23rd of January. We were talking about it at work and none of us believed that it would ever spread much further than it did. Not understanding the full impact it could have, I said to my work colleagues that they shouldn’t worry too much. It’s just a few cases and nothing will ever come from it. By the end of the month the daily cases were in the 100s in Scotland alone and our country was in Lockdown.

My dad was taken to the hospital on the 2nd March so my entire world was already in shock. Everything was changing and I didn’t want anything else to change. Over the course of the first few weeks in March we were visiting the hospital every day to see my dad. It was impossible to buy hand sanitiser, even the dispensers in the corridors of the hospital were empty. My dad would spend the next few months going in and out of hospital. The first time he was in for just over a week and the longest time he spent was almost 4 weeks. I can’t count how many days in total he spent in the hospitals.

We had a drinks event with work on the 6th March and I didn’t really want to be there but my mum told me that dad would have wanted me to go, my dad couldn’t even speak. I acted as if everything was normal and it was a normal night. I really enjoyed the drinks and the company of Ben and everyone else I worked with. I just can’t believe that was the last time I was sitting in a pub with my friends. When Ben and I hugged outside before he left and we kissed each others cheek, So much more could have potentially happened that night, but I can’t think too much on what might have happened. The next day reality hit me hard. I certainly felt a spark but unfortunately it just didn’t ignite, much like a broken lighter, I got a little frustrated at myself and I shut myself down completely.

The 9th March Italy went into a Nationwide lockdown. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing on the news. Denmark was next, then Ireland, Spain, The Netherlands, Austria, France. California was the first state in the US. Germany and New York went into lockdown on the Sunday. The UK was next. I don’t think any of us was prepared for what the next 12 months would bring. Even to date the pandemic is far from over.

Monday 23rd March and I was at work, although we didn’t have much work to do. The schools had already been closed from the previous Friday but I STILL didn’t want to believe we could go into lockdown. That morning at work we had been told off for all standing too close together in the corridor by one of our managers. We had been told we needed to social distance. Just like at the last in-person meeting we had the previous week, we had to sit apart, I thought it was a little unusual. I didn’t like it at all.

I had planned to only write 1 entry on the first day of each month for the whole of 2020. I forgot to do an entry for January and February but on the 1st March I was feeling so positive and everything was going right for once in my life. I started writing about Ben when I couldn’t even confide to my diary about my dad. I’m unable to handle a crush on someone at the best of times. But by the end of March I had already written the amount I had planned for the entire year. This wasn’t just awful science fiction movie, it was real! All of a sudden I was powerless. There was absolutely nothing I could do. So I started writing more. 

I am able to write these words 1 year later in hope that I never have to experience anything quite like that again. As this is my 10th entry in my ‘2021 diary’ and I am so proud of myself for getting through this. I am a stronger person. I will continue to become even stronger. That is a promise to myself!

Vaccinations at 31.4% (2%)

1 in 3 people in Scotland have had their first dose of the vaccination equating to 31.4% of the entire Scottish population. This includes over 95% of those ages 65 and over. 2% of the Scottish population have had their second dose. The First Minister of Scotland, Nicola Sturgeon, has said that perhaps next week some restrictions might be lifted and I think that may be to do with outdoor mixing. I’m not sure what to expect but I’m still sure that things are going the right way.

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February 2021

Daily Diary – February 2021

My daily diary where I will write a few sentences about each day. By doing this I hope to discover and appreciate the finer moments in my life and perhaps recall the journey of this year when I reach the end.

From the people I meet, the video games I play or the time I go to bed, good days and bad days, I will continue to write.

Back to ‘Life Journal‘ Page

ONE

Busy day at work. Felt a little unwell, dizzy spells but might just be tired. Had a nap for 3 hours then just chilled with PS4. Made myself a cheese toastie. Need a toastier maker!

TWO

Lockdown has even extended until the end of the month. Quieter day at work. Played PS4 then went to supermarket for lunch and drinks (for tomorrow) and bumped into Lisa. Sat in cars for 25-30 minutes. Shaved my face for the first time in over two months!

THREE

Busy yet such an awesome day at work! Got to work with Ben today! Also, didn’t get home until well after 4pm. Evening spent playing PS4. I feel exhausted but in a good way. 

FOUR

Work. Got home after 3. Fell asleep accidentally for 6 hours, couldn’t sleep until after 4am. Payday so bought things online.

FIVE

Roads to work were flooded. Took an extra 10 mins. Car park was flooded so had to park farther away. Spent the evening playing video games and went to supermarket. 

Published ‘A Better Week’ on blog.

SIX

Arranged walk with Lisa and her younger sister. Unfortunately it was heavy hailstones so we sat in our cars on video chat until it stopped. Huge muddy puddles and slippy paths but was fun. Takeaway and video games with Mike at night. 

SEVEN

Sister came to visit with nephew. We just sat and chilled. Met Nicola and Paul for our usual weekly walk! Video games and diary writing at night. 

EIGHT

Got to work this morning at 10am and got home at 3pm. Not much happened today but it snowed really heavy in the evening. Played FF14 with Mike and watched some anime.

NINE

Day off work using holiday allowance so woke up around 1pm. Also gave Dad his birthday card and gifts It snowed all day so I watched around 6 hours of anime. Attempted to move car but was unable to due to the snow.

TEN

Day off work due to the heavy snow. Managed to get my car out at night to go to petrol station and supermarket. Started playing ‘Code Vein’ on the PS4. Was unable to get a takeaway as they were all closed due to the snow.

ELEVEN

Managed to get into work today. Arrived at 10:30 and colleague arrived just after 11. Played more video games in the evening until around 2am. Made plans with Rachel for a walk but we were both too tired.

TWELVE

Went into work today and had a ‘Friday Finish’ and got home for 1pm. When I got home I slept because I have a really sore stomach, not sure what is wrong but hopefully I feel better soon. Played video games and rested for the rest of the day.

Published ‘Trapped in Snow’ on blog.

THIRTEEN

Woke up just after 11am. Made plans with Lisa to go for a short walk in our local park. Snow started but we continued walking for about 45 minutes. Got home and just had a sandwich, ordered takeaway for 9pm for my parents and myself. Started playing ‘Dishonored’ on PS4 – dad’s recommendation. Stomach still painful. 

FOURTEEN

Valentine’s Day. Got a little sad that I’m single but was in so much pain with my stomach I spent most of the day in bed. Only got out of bed for dinner and played video games the entire day.

FIFTEEN

Got into work a little late and asked my colleague if we could leave early. Still not feeling myself. Took a long nap then started playing ‘Dishonored 2’. 

SIXTEEN

Better day at work. Mum had her retirement day and also got her COVID vaccine. Had a long shower and then played FF14 with Mike and had an early (1am) night. 

SEVENTEEN

Longer day at work making up for my laziness earlier in the week. Went for a walk with Nicola and Paul and we got a little lost. The paths down the park were extremely muddy. Went to supermarket for snacks and drinks. 

EIGHTEEN

Very busy day at work as the boss joined us and we had another company in collecting things. They were there for over 4 hours. After tea time I crashed out at 5pm and didn’t wake up till around 3am.

NINETEEN

Feeling a lot brighter today at work. Another colleague joined us with my usual colleague. Enjoyed the banter today. In the evening I spent many hours playing video games and caught up on the whole weeks worth of Coronation Street.

Published ‘Pain’ on blog.

TWENTY

Spent most of my Saturday in bed. Got out of bed around 4pm for dinner with the parents. Played some video games and then ordered a takeaway for my parents and I around 9pm. Played more video games. Spoke to Lisa online for a while.

TWENTY-ONE

Today I didn’t do very much either. Completed ‘Dishonored 2’ and played some FF14 with Mike in the evening. I would like to buy some new video games as I’ve really enjoyed the games I’ve played this year.

TWENTY-TWO

A slow Monday at work but managed the workload for the rest of the week. Route map out of lockdown was released for England. I had an early night and slept by 11pm.

TWENTY-THREE

Lots of driving at work today but was a really good shift. Met up with Lisa in the evening for an hour. First look at my published ‘Lockdown Diary’ book. I’m impressed and quite excited. I spent the night reading over it.

TWENTY-FOUR

Later start at work at 1pm, got home around 6pm. Worked with Erin and Ben today and it was a good shift. Takeaway at night with parents and played FF14 with Mike for about 6 hours then watched Coronation Street into the early hours.

TWENTY-FIVE

Days holiday from work. My nephews birthday today so my sister visited and we had a little celebration with him. It was so good and I can’t believe he is a year old already. I met Rachel at night for a short walk as well and got home at 11pm.

TWENTY-SIX

Had a good shift at work and went for a very short drive afterwards, got home at 3pm. My evening was quiet so just played FF14 with Mike.

Published ‘Sight of a Brighter Future’ on blog.

TWENTY-SEVEN

Played video games all day. I Drove to McDonalds and got a double cheeseburger, first of the year, then went to supermarket for food and energy drinks. I took my car to the outdoor car wash the wash the exterior of my car. Late night watching Family Guy then went to sleep around 5am.

TWENTY-EIGHT

Another boring day but played video games and watched anime. Spent a few hours writing some stories and updating my diary and website. I think I should write more in these daily diary entries.

I have written 7 first drafts of ‘Chronicles of Callum’ out of 50.

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Sight of a Brighter Future

Lockdown Exit Strategy

At the beginning of the week Boris Johnston set out a route map for England to get out of Lockdown. Nicola Sturgeon made announcements for Scotland the following day. Here is a little of what to expect from the next few months.

8th March, all schools reopen and two people can sit outdoors together and care home residents are allowed one regular visitor. 29th March, six people from two households can meet outdoors and outdoor sports are allowed along with traveling outside local area. 12th April, non-essential retail and outdoor hospitality can open along with the gyms and some holiday accommodation. 17th May, outdoors social contact rules are lifted, 6 people can meet indoors and indoor hospitality and hotels open. 21st June all legal limits on social contact are removed and everywhere else such as nightclubs will be allowed to open. Although these rules are JUST for England.

In Scotland things are a little different. From the 5th April the stay at home restrictions will be lifted and schools might fully reopen, but still only outdoor meeting is allowed. Then, on the 26th of April we return to the levels system we had at the end of last year. I have hopes that we will at least be moved to level 3 restrictions then which means restaurants will be allowed to open. I might be able to have a nice meal out for my birthday as I have personally missed going out to restaurants with friends the most. I’m not entirely sure of what will happen after that and I understand that these dates could change so I can’t set my heart on making any plans just yet. 

I would also like to add that the coronavirus alert level has been lowered from level five to level 4 in all 4 countries of the UK. That means that the pressure on our NHS isn’t as severe as it was as the alert level was raised to 5 at the beginning of the year. This has no effect on the lockdown measures but it is in indication for the scientific advisers as level 4 still states the virus has a high transmission rate. I can see a brighter future ahead for all of us but for now it is important to continue to suppress the virus.

Hair Shaving

Something that has been bothering me for a while was the length of my hair. It was getting too long, felt greasy, awful to dry and I would feel the need to wear hats all the time. So I took the decision to shave it off. Not completely bald, but it’s quite a large difference. A literal weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I’m not quite sure if this is a diary worthy entry. But this, for me, is a big deal. I’m not the usual type to take such a great pride in my hair but I still want it to look good. I’ll be unable to get a haircut professionally for the next few months at least. I asked mum if she could do it for me and she was more than happy to. Unfortunately she done it a little patchy so I had to finish it myself. It took a lot longer than expected as I had to get both my mum and dad to point out the bits that had been missed. In the end, I am satisfied with my new style and I feel like a new person. When I can eventually get my hair done at the barbers again it will hopefully be before going to the pub or to a nice restaurant.

Erin and Ben

I was really nervous about working this week as I was going to be working with both Erin and Ben. I was really anxious about going into work and seeing both of them and I was over thinking every little scenario in my head. I know it’s silly, but I thought it would be very awkward and I would maybe get a little upset after everything that has happened. Although it was a really good shift with them both.

I hadn’t spoken to Erin in about 2 weeks and I’ve not actually spent any time with her outside of work since the start of January. I thought it would be a little weird but as soon as she walked through the door (I got to work first) she acknowledged my hair. I appreciated that. I also offered her a new energy drink that I had bought, I didn’t quite like it, but it was something that she would like. She also accompanied me for a cigarette before we properly started work to have a quick catch up. I felt as if we cleared the air a little, maybe there was no “air to clear”, but I felt a little better. After work she asked if I would be able to drive her home as she lives on the way and it felt quite relaxing. I told her that if she wanted to hang out at some point, if to go for an adventure or to the supermarket, or even just for chilling out, to let me know. 

I was expecting Ben to try his best to avoid me. To not want to work closely with me if possible. Perhaps make things a little more difficult if possible. But his company was actually quite pleasant. I tried to be the best version of myself as possible because I clearly care of his opinion of me. I don’t think I’ll have a chance to see or speak to him after this project is over so I need to make the most if it. I want to enjoy his company while I can and make sure I don’t cause any unnecessary drama. He’s the first person I’ve ever seen that can bend his fingers and his thumb in a certain way the same way I can. I know that’s a silly little thing but I don’t know anybody else that can bend their thumb in any direction like I can. 

I’m actually thinking about giving him a copy of the letter I wrote last year to him before the team disbands. I’m thinking about giving out the other letters I wrote as well. A part of my journey of being more open with myself and others around me. I’m not sure how he would react to reading something that I wrote, especially at one of my lowest points in life. I really really really wish we could just be friends.

Physical Lockdown Diary

I got the first few copies of my published ‘Lockdown Diary’ that I had written throughout the last year in the initial stages of the global lockdown. I can’t describe how awesome it feels to actually have a book in my hands that I have written. I never would have expected for that to happen as I always tried to get some poetry published or perhaps a short story in a magazine but I had never put in as much dedication to anything like it. Writing has always been an escape for me and I always had a dream to make something real from it. 

I genuinely hope that my book manages to generate some sales and gain popularity. I mean, I’m not primarily writing to gain fame or fortunes, but I do have a hope that if someone can read what I’ve written and it may help them then I am more than happy. Things didn’t seem real until I was actually holding it in my hands, flipping through the pages, reading it from cover to cover, as if I was reading for the first time. I wonder if the publication will be praised and how much further it will really go. Time will tell.

I guess in a strange way, this current 2021 diary is my exit strategy from my mental health issues. As I have the plan to write every Friday and with each entry having a title and separated with sub titles, perhaps this could be, if all goes well, like a sequel to my first book. I also feel quite excited that this is my 9th entry and there will be 44 more entries to come. As if my life was a story I am telling and things are only going to get bigger and better as the protagonist succeeds with whatever quest he is on. How many story arcs will 2021 have and what will happen in the end. I think maybe when I start to take some time out to write in my diary I am able to separate myself from reality a little bit and to reflect on the events of the week. So, in a weird kind of way, I am the writer, author and reader of my story.

There were parts that I didn’t include in my published diary. Some of the letters that I wrote to some people that are for my viewing only. Also my ‘Reflections of’ entires that included my thoughts and feelings of previous diary entires. ‘Reflections of 2017’, etc I wrote a paragraph about each entry that I had written, maybe how my feelings had changed about a certain subject or maybe anything I wanted to add. Those diary entires helped me a lot as it proved to me how far on my journey I have come and gave me the confidence to get over my current trials. I really want to go through my ‘Lockdown Diary’ at some point and write about each entry in a paragraph. Perhaps that could be something I do later in the year as just by reading it now I already know how far I’ve come and I am so proud of myself. It doesn’t feel like it most of the time but I am extremely lucky to have my diary.

First Birthday

My nephew had his first birthday. His first year on this Earth hasn’t been the greatest as he hasn’t had the same first year as most babies will have had. It’s such a shame that I think I could probably count the number of times that I’ve seen him. But to be honest I doubt he’ll ever remember anything about coronavirus or lockdown when he is older, perhaps he will only learn about it at school. That’s what I’m hoping for anyway as I would hate his first memories to be of lockdown but instead of the happier memories he has playing with his toys and walks with his parents.

I gave him the Psyduck plush that I ordered online. I still have hopes that he will be into video games and things like Pokémon when he is older like I was. My sister also loved the photograph box with the reprints in it. My nephew was more interested in chewing on the plastic but I think it’s a little more symbolic as this will be his family photos that I hope my sister will add to over to over many years. 

My sister isn’t very good at baking. She baked my nephew a birthday cake, trying to make it healthy, but it wasn’t very much of a cake. It was meant to be a carrot cake but instead it was a little rubbery and looked more like a flat biscuit. I thought it was pretty awesome that she tried instead of spending far too much money on a cake from the supermarket. I tried a bit but didn’t like the texture. My nephew ended up with it on the floor with him and we got some photos, it was very cute. I’ve seen photos of other kids first birthdays where they get a cake and destroy it, I think they call it a ‘cake smash’ party i’m not sure. The photos we got will be memorable. Our family don’t have very many photos over the recent years but with the arrival of a new member of the family, that will obviously change. 

My nephew has a very bright future ahead of him with 2 awesome parents and of course an awesome uncle. It may take a little time for me to be the best uncle ever but I am determined more than ever. I believe he was one of the reasons I made it through lockdown and you never know, I could be an uncle to even more in the future if my sister wants another. Then I can be twice as awesome… or three times as awesome? I think I may be pushing it now. Not sure if I will ever be a father myself at this point, it is a possibility, but I think I would like to be in a stable relationship before I make any sort of decisions in that field.

Vaccinations at 28.2% (1.2%)

The first dose of vaccinated people stands at 28.2% of the Scottish adult population now. Not a significant of an increase from last Friday, but that was to be expected as the availability isn’t as great but that should increase in the coming weeks (or so it is hoped). Although the percentage of second doses is on the up. As the vaccination does require both dozes to be fully effective against the virus. I have decided to include the percentage of people that have received both doses in my heading in the coming weeks in brackets (that stands at 1.2% from today) and I will continue to record that statistic in my diary.

262 million people have been given vaccinations worldwide.

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Pain

Therapy and First Diary

I don’t really have much to write this week. But I wanted to write about the previous therapy sessions I have had in the past. I’ve also tried many different kinds of self therapy! 

But in the current situation I believe that this diary is the therapy I need. Diaries aren’t for everyone but I can’t stress how satisfied and happy it has made me just to get my raw emotions into words. Also with this current 2021 diary, to be so constructive and creative and I know by the end of the year I will be able to gift myself something so awesome. I do hope this will somehow help others if they come across my diary but even if they don’t and nobody else ever reads these words, I will still be satisfied. 

My first diary, that I mentioned in my previous post, wasn’t a thought out idea or plan. I found an app on my iPhone and wrote my first entry. In 2011 I had 3 blogs, 1 for my secrets, another for my dreams and a final one that was like a diary. Unfortunately I only have access to 5 of those entires, I guess my other entries must still be online somewhere with a forgotten website address. Back in those days, that was my therapy, times where I felt as if I couldn’t tell anyone my secrets or my latest crush, instead I told the whole internet. Although I doubt they’d ever be found now, but that still gives me some sort of comfort. I think one day I would like to make everything available, not sure who would want to read it, but it may be interesting for some. 

I also love how I have my diary so organised. I’m writing this straight into a word processor. I guess in that sense, I’m organising my thoughts with a plan to have everything sorted by the end of this year. That is my goal anyway and I would like to remind myself occasionally.

Lost in The Park and Stomach Issues

Last Friday I started having a horrible pain in my stomach. I felt as if it was bruised somehow and it hurt to do anything. Over the last weekend it worsened and all I could do was rest. My appetite and everything else was unchanged so I’m not really sure what it was. Even by Thursday (yesterday) there was still a slight pain. But everything seems to be back to normal. I think it may be down to the amount of energy drinks I consume. Today, 7 days later I am finally feeling back to myself again. Thursday after work I crashed out in bed around 5pm and didn’t wake up until 3am, I think that was my body recovering and catching up with the lack of sleep I have been having recently.

Wednesday I received a text from Nicola asking if I fancied a walk that evening. I was still in a little pain from my stomach issues but decided a walk may do me good. I asked if they wanted to come to a different park to walk their dog and they agreed. I think this may be the closest park to my house just less than a mile to walk to it or a 5 minute drive. Because of all the snow we had over the last week the paths seemed to be extra muddy and because it was dark there was many parts where our shoes would almost be lost. We had to turn back at one point and try to walk a different way. 

It was great to see Nicola and Paul for our weekly adventure but it wasn’t the greatest adventure. I did feel a lot better after our exercise though. I visited the supermarket afterwards and I left a muddy trail of footprints behind me! I cannot wait until the nights get lighter, I really do enjoy late night walks in the daylight – you know when it’s like 10pm and the sun hasn’t quite gone down yet. This summer I hope to get a few decent photographs of sunsets. 

Vaccinations at 25.4%

The number of people in Scotland that have had their first dose of the vaccination is at 25.4% which is 1 in 4 people. My mum is one of those people. The second dose has risen from 0.2% to 0.5% and that should be the next to grow over the coming weeks in order to offer greater protection against the virus. Next week we should have a better idea of when restrictions will be lifted. I hope they can be lifted soon so we can try get back to normal. 

216 million vaccinations have been given worldwide. 

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Trapped in Snow

Walks and Adventures

As with current lockdown restrictions mean that normal socialising is not allowed. But that doesn’t mean you can’t still go for adventures and make the most of what we can do. 

Last Saturday I made solid plans with Lisa to go for a walk like we used to as recently we have both been so busy with our work. We decided last week that we would go for a walk no matter what happened. We had even set the time for 12:15pm, although that was pushed back until 2pm, we were both determined to go for our exercise together. We met at a small carpark in the next town over and there was quite a few cars in the car park with people just sitting enjoying the view. I opened my window to have a cigarette and to speak to Lisa, but the wind was wild and hailstones  heavy and I had to close my window, we ended up video calling each other to decide what to do. A part of me was going to suggest we just sit in the car and have a small catch up but I was determined to get out and have our walk so we waited for about 5-10 minutes until the hail had stopped. Lisa brought her little sister along with us so that was an added bonus. The path next to the beach was very muddy and there was huge puddles but we got through it all. We had walked for about 25-30 minutes and we came across old ruins – I had walked this path many times before. We had a cigarette and decided to start walking back to the cars. Overall the walk was enjoyable it was just a little unfortunate of the weather. There will be a tonne of new adventures with Lisa to come this year as I believe 2020 and the original lockdown brought us closer than ever.

Paul sent me a text one evening asking if I would like to go for a walk. I gladly accepted. Although he only gave me about half hour notice I didn’t mind. Nicola was also with us as I only ever meet them both as a pair. I have only ever been on a walk with Nicola by herself once in the past but I see them both as equals and value both their friendships the same. The park was still a little muddy from the heavy rain and floods but we got through it. We just walked our usual round of the park which is only about 2.5 to 3 kilometres. I brought my new tripod for my iPhone which can easily fold up and fit in my pocket, I just wanted to test it out although it was very cloudy so didn’t get any good photographs. Lisa suggested that we should do the same next week and I have no complaints about that whatsoever. I enjoy our weekly walks even before lockdown we would go for small adventures and walks with their dog.

I had another walk planned with Rachel but we were both too tired to go out. Makes a very big change from where I was last year where I would have done anything to leave the house. Now, I can happily stay indoors playing video games. One thing I’m sure of is that there are many more adventures to come! I am determined to see many new places this year even if it needs to be just in Scotland.

My Crush and Desires

As my 4-year anniversary of being single is approaching I always overthink a little as the date comes around. Andy and I were together for 4 years and the date we broke up for the final time would have been our 4 year anniversary. I guess this means that we’ve almost been apart for more time than we were together. Although we broke up originally before this date, we were on/off for about 5-6 months, I like to think of the final break up as the only date that matters. 

Why do I refer to it as my “single anniversary”, could it be that I never really got over that. One of the reasons why I started writing so much. It’s true that I’ve had quite a few dates in those 4 years. Although I’ve only had 2 proper crushes, Daniel and Ben. Very different kinds of crushes but I had similar feelings and they both gave me nice sensations such as comfort of feeling that I can be myself and I felt a little happier whenever I was around them.

I could say that I’m genuinely holding out for ‘the one’. I don’t feel like playing the field is very much me anymore. I don’t want to play stupid games and I don’t want to go through too many ups and downs. I don’t even know where to begin most of the time and I’m not sure what kind of boyfriend I want but what I do know is that I would like those feelings of comfort again. 

With Valentines approaching this weekend it is another reminder of how single I am. Maybe this time next year things will be very different. These last 12 months have taught me that anything is possible.

My Sister and Nephew Visit

My sister was supposed to visit our house on my dads birthday but she came a few days earlier as before the snow came. Although we didn’t break any laws by her visiting as she is a part of our extended household she just hasn’t been to our house since Christmas Day. I don’t know what is going to happen with restrictions in the coming weeks, a ban on visiting other households is in place until the beginning of March and there’s no guarantee it will be lifted then. My nephew is almost a year hold and my parents have only seen him a handful of times. If lockdown didn’t exist She would be visiting at least every other week! I came up with the suggestion that she visits and discussed it with my mum because I wanted to surprise my dad. Everyone was so happy to be reunited and my nephew has grown so much in those 6 weeks. He is now able to walk if someone is to hold him up. His first birthday is at the end of the month and I cannot wait to see them again. That is when I will gift my sister and nephew with all the copies of the family photos I got printed. I’m still unsure what I’m going to get my nephew for his birthday, I’m thinking maybe a stuffed toy that he can play with, maybe a Pokemon plush, I would like to get him something geeky because I hope he will enjoy video games when he is older. 

Snowed Under

At the beginning of the week the snow was very heavy. At least a few inches. I had a days holiday from work so had a longer lie in bed and I didn’t really think anything of the snow. Until around 7pm when I attempted to get all the snow off my car ready for the morning. I managed to clear it off my car, including roof, no problem but I was unable to reverse out of the driveway. I got into the middle of the street and had to drive back in to my driveway. 

The next day we were all told to stay home from work as the roads were unsafe. I was a little upset but I spent the entire day playing video games. Later on the in day around 8pm I managed to get my car out to the supermarket to get some supplies and fill my car with petrol. Whenever it snows really bad I always feel a little trapped, much like I did when lockdown first became law. I enjoy my freedom and cannot wait to just be out in my car chilling with some of my friends at a nice viewpoint.

My Mental Health

I have said for years that by writing in a diary has improved my mental health. I honestly don’t know where I would be without having a way to organise my thoughts and emotions. Of course when I started my very first diary I just wanted to do it for fun and I enjoyed every entry I made. But after my 4-year relationship I felt as if I had nobody to turn to for help and the only thing I could do was write because I thought nobody else wanted to listen to my ranting or to take the time to understand my feelings. 

I’ve always had a thought that perhaps I should write directly about my mental health issues. Not just to say I have depression or that I have social anxiety, but to explain a little about how that makes me feel and how it may restrict my normal life. Everybody has different experiences with their mental health and it is important to understand those differences. You wouldn’t be able to tell how I felt just by looking at me or even if you spoke to me in public, I will probably just come across as an average person.

Over the course of the next few weeks I will be writing a little more about my mental health specifically. I don’t feel like I could write it all in just one day as that is too exhausting. At times I struggle to deal with things so don’t wish to add any pressure to myself. But as long as I write about my mental health issues in more detail in the coming weeks I feel as if I could be satisfied and feel I have achieved something and to perhaps relief some of the stress that has brought on.

Forgotten and Replaced

Sometimes I get this strange feeling that if I don’t speak to someone for a few weeks I may be forgotten about. I’m not sure what that feeling is to be honest, but it’s probably one of the reasons I have very little friendships, but possibly why the friendships I have kept are so important to me. One very important friendship I had, with someone I haven’t written about since my 2012 diary, unfortunately it has been many years since I have seen her. At one point in our lives we would spend every single day together and we were always together when we went for many nights out in the city. Everybody knew us as a pair and we inseparable. Her name is Helen. I would like to write some more about Helen in this diary as I have so many stories I wish to share, some of which I am in the process of writing. 

But as for what happened between Helen and I, a lot of things happened, we just don’t talk like we used to. In fact I think the last time we text was probably over a year ago. I tried my best and it didn’t work out very well. Have I been forgotten? Has she replaced me with someone just like me?

Whenever I have an argument with a friend or we just drift apart: I get very sad. I think that they have forgotten about me and possibly hate me and no doubt they will try to replace me. When I lost a lot of friends last year before lockdown came into effect, it pains me to think that they are all still friends with each other. Like I’ve been kicked out of a club and I have been refused reentry. What if they invite someone in to take my place and they become “The New Callum”. If ever I would see that new person with them I will just try to compare myself to them and fill myself with jealousy and a little bit of anger. But there isn’t much I can do about that. 

I also have an extreme fear of missing out on something. If I don’t get invited out with my friends I feel a little left out. I feel as if I may miss something important. Also, I overthink far too much and start believing that my friends don’t want me there. The same goes for if I get a last minute invite and everybody already knows about it, was I a final thought? Or do you actually want me there.

Vaccinations at 20.4%

The vaccinations in Scotland are up to 20.4% of the population, roughly 1 in 5 people. That is the largest increase to date. My dad was one of the people to get vaccinated. The second dose still stands at 0.2% but hopefully that starts to rise in the next few weeks. Apparently the first dose number will slow down a bit for next week as they wait for a delivery to be made. They also say that the vaccine can take up to 3 weeks to take effect. I’m feeling more hopeful every week that we can all start living our lives a little more normally.

168 vaccinations have been given worldwide.

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A Better Week

This week has been a lot better than last week in terms of my mental health and just general feelings. I take great joy in doing the things that I am allowed to do and don’t mind staying at home to play video games. I feel that I have achieved so much with myself and I hope that continues throughout the year. I feel that by setting aside time on a Friday evening/night to write in my diary has given me something to look forward to and still lets me be productive. 

Walks with Nicola and Paul

Last weekend I decided to arrange a walk with Nicola and Paul to walk their dog. It had been almost an entire month since I seen them. It was so nice to be able to get out for a mini adventure. I drove about 20 minutes to get to our destination. We walked for over an hour and the paths were slippy with ice and it was dark. 

I was a little bit afraid of being outdoors meeting people during lockdown, although I am not breaking any laws. I think you’re only supposed to meet 1 person from another household I’m not actually too sure, but I met both of them. The police drove through the park and down the path we were walking on so we moved onto the grass to let them pass. It was one of the police vans that has the bright lights on top so they can shine on the sides of the roads and into the wooded area. They gave up a wave to acknowledge us so I knew we weren’t going to be stopped or questioned. We were allowed to be there as we weren’t breaking any laws in that regard. 

Lockdown has restricted the places that we adventure to as we used to drive a little further but we have always done these kinds of walks although it has just become a more regular occurrence. I think in these far from normal times it is important to retain as much normality as safely and as possible. I suggested we attempt to make these a weekly thing for the next couple of weeks. It was so good to catch up as they have recently officially moved into their new house. I can’t wait to have drinks at theirs when it is allowed. It was also a fair bit of exercise as I don’t think I have walked that far in a while, as the paths were slippy and there was a lot of elevation through the woods. We walked less than 5,000 steps but it felt like more.

Daily Diary and Memory Loss

At the beginning of the year on the 1st January I attempted a new project. This project was to take a 1 second video/selfie of myself and another 1 second video of whatever I was doing that day. By the end of the year I would have had 2 6-minute videos to sum up my year. I think I stopped on the 4th day. I lost interest pretty quickly. 

My Daily Diary, not a final name, will be a few sentences about my day or whatever is on my mind on that day. I’m not really sure how long I’ll do it for but I have high hopes. It only takes me a few minutes each day to write it and when I get some spare time I create little images and then post them to my Instagram. I really need to work on my social media presence; I feel as if it’s virtually non-existent. By writing a few sentences every day it allows me to look for the greatest moments of the day and although most days are much the same it also proves to myself of how far I’ve come with my mental health journey.

But my primary reason for writing in this weekly blog and daily diary is for my benefit. I also believe by doing this publicly I could potentially help others. I am very creative and I know that future me will love looking back on all these things that I’m doing. 

Writing My Personal Stories

Instead of focusing on writing non-fiction or poetry I have been thinking of writing some stories based on my life. I find myself telling the same stories to my friends quite regularly and I realised that there’s so many things I remember from my childhood/teens. I wonder if I would be able to write some down and possibly post them to my website. I’ve already started writing one story and bullet points for quite a few more. 

I do have a small fear that one day I might forget something. I started writing about my last family holiday I went on and I got a little confused between the two last holidays – I spent a few days thinking hard. Eventually all these nice memories came back to me and I just kept on writing as I remembered more. That brought me great joy and maybe, just maybe, I could make myself a nice wee collection of stories based on my memories. Also I feel that these stories I could potentially pass on to my nephew, I’m still a little unsure about that. 

Ben

I figured I should probably mention Ben in my diary at some point. I wrote a lot about my feelings for him throughout lockdown. I know that there is a high chance that we aren’t going to even be friends as I feel that he really doesn’t like me. But, that still doesn’t change the way I feel. I knew we were going to be working together this week so the night before I made a little bit of an effort. I hadn’t shaved for weeks and my face was very scruffy. I didn’t see the point in shaving my face as I have to wear a face covering when I’m at work so nobody really sees my face. But I decided to have a shave so I can look a little better as I take my mask off to eat and drink. I don’t think he even noticed, I wouldn’t expect him to. But it made me feel a lot better, I was happy!

At one point I was walking behind him and I just looked at him and thought… how do I actually feel. Even, how did I feel before lockdown happened. I really enjoyed his company at work before and he was the only person I genuinely got excited about seeing when I went into work during lockdown. I really wasn’t in a good place mentally as everything was falling apart but being around him gave me a sense of calmness. 

I still get a little nervous when I speak to him and I get butterflies. I bring in snacks at work and I always offer him first. Those small details don’t matter but the bottom line is that I still have a major crush. Perhaps if this is going nowhere I would like to find someone just like him. Someone to give me those same butterflies and genuine excitement to see them. But what kind of diary would this be if I didn’t talk about my latest crush, or in this case a crush of almost a year. In fact the middle of next week it would be exactly a year since we first met. 

Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch (PS4)

Last Friday I started playing Ni no Kuni. I played this game originally when it was released for the PS3 back in 2013 and I loved it then. Although it is a game I had forgotten about I am really enjoying this play through. As said previously I don’t wish to go into video game reviews in this diary as I could probably write far too much and that isn’t the focus of this diary. I do wish to record the games I play as playing video games is a big part of my life and hobbies and want to share that part of my personality with the world. As of writing this entry I have played for around 40 hours.

Playstation also released some personal statistics for 2020 and that told me that I have played 207/365 days of 2020 and I’ve spent a total of 543 hours on Final Fantasy XIV – that’s over 22 days straight! I’ve also spent 1416 hours of gameplay (59 days). I’m a little unsure of how accurate that may be as I sometimes leave my game idle when I do something else but it is a believable indicator. Also apparently I only played 23 games last year which I thought might have been more

Vaccinations at 13.6%

Today the vaccinations in Scotland are up to 13.6% of the population for the first dose, that is around 1 in 7 people. Only 0.2% have had their second dose, perhaps in a few weeks I can change the subtitle of this paragraph to the second dose. Every day I check the statistics for Scotland and the cases are coming down quite slowly. I know that all these sacrifices are worth it but it still gets me down sometimes. I just wish this could all be over.

My dad is due to get his vaccination next week and I am so happy that it is finally happening. I think I may ask if I could come in late to work so I can drive him to the vaccination centre as I don’t really want him to drive himself there. 

127 million people worldwide have had their first dose up from 91 million last week. 16.4% of the UK has had their first dose which is around 1 in 6 people.

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January 2021

Daily Diary – January 2021

My daily diary where I will write a few sentences about each day. By doing this I hope to discover and appreciate the finer moments in my life and perhaps recall the journey of this year when I reach the end.

From the people I meet, the video games I play or the time I go to bed, good days and bad days, I will continue to write.

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ONE

Happy New Year! Went for a walk with Lisa and her boyfriend in the evening, walking their friends dog. Continued playing Dynasty Warriors 9 on PS4. Went to bed around 10pm. 

Published ‘First Post’ on blog.

TWO

Woke up very early and played PS4 all day. Met Nicola and Paul for a walk around the park at 8pm and went to McDonald’s on the way home. 

THREE

Met Dani, an ex work colleague from the supermarket and I hadn’t seen her since I left last January. We just sat in our cars down at the beach and chatted for 2-3 hours. Then when I got home I played PS4 late into the night. 

FOUR

Traveled into town with Erin to get new vape juice. My new vape also arrived, it’s so cool! Nicola Sturgeon announced lockdown starting at midnight. Not working in the office until further notice. 

FIVE

Not at work today. Continued playing PS4 all day. Ordered takeaway. Received a phone call to ask me to return to work tomorrow as my job cannot be done from home. 

SIX

First day back at work, car was frosty! Only 2 people in large office so I cleaned up my new desk where I will be working from for the next few weeks. Discussed workload with colleague for the next few weeks. Plenty to do. Went to supermarket at night to stock up on essentials and get fuel. 

SEVEN

Big day at work doing a stock take. There was so much lifting to do. Also hoovered the office and tidied up a little more. I am exhausted but happy to keep myself busy. Played FF14 with Mike all night. 

EIGHT

Asked to leave work early today as I was exhausted. Ordered takeaway and completed Dynasty Warriors 9 (platinum trophy). I feel satisfied. Then I played Final Fantasy 12, a save file from 2017, got frustrated so played FF14 with Mike. 

Published ‘An Open Book’ on blog.

NINE

Saturday. Woke up at 4pm. Met Lisa for a walk at 9pm, ended up waking for 2 hours. Paths were so slippy and my legs were killing me. I enjoyed getting out for fresh air and to be able to socialise a little. 

TEN

Woke up at 4pm again. Started playing ‘Beyond: Two Souls’, working through my back catalogue of games. 

ELEVEN

Monday at work today. Finished stock take. Started on our next tasks. Had quite a big lunch. Had a long nap when I got home. Played more ‘Beyond: Two Souls’. Late night gaming session. 

TWELVE

Less productive day at work but still satisfactory. Another nap when I got home. Completed ‘Beyond: Two Souls’ so went to bed a little after midnight. 

THIRTEEN

Work. Not very productive. Feel a little down and unwell. I’m too tired and just want to nap. Played FF14 with Mike until 4am. 

FOURTEEN

Very productive day at work. We learned of a timeframe of tasks to be done in the coming weeks – subject to change due to lockdown restrictions. 

FIFTEEN

Arrived 40 mins late to work because I slept in. Boss came into office just after lunch to drop things off. Wrote my weekly diary entry. Started playing ‘A Plague Tale: Innocence’.  I really like it.

Published ‘Entry Number 3’ on blog.

SIXTEEN

Saturday walk with Lisa was moved to tomorrow because we were both a little exhausted. I also just wanted to play games. So I never left the house at all.

SEVENTEEN

Wished my crush a happy birthday. Met Lisa for a late night walk, we didn’t walk far as we were both tired and I hurt my leg a little. Completed the story of ‘A Plague Tale: Innocence’ and will attempt to 100% it this week. 

EIGHTEEN

Not very productive day at work as it was a slow day. Went for a short drive before going home from work. Ordered a takeaway and played FF14 with Mike. Wasn’t too impressed with my potato fritters and cheese sticks but didn’t want to get pizza as per usual. 

NINETEEN

Got a new mobile number today as it was a better deal for data and a new network. Had a chilled evening and played FF14 with Mike. 

TWENTY

Drove work van today and bumped into Ben. We waved to each other but didn’t chat much. Went to supermarket for food for the rest of the week and some energy drinks. Watched some coronation street. 

TWENTY-ONE

Long day at work, not much happened, I Didn’t nap in the afternoon. I played FF14 with Mike until late. I had an early night. 

TWENTY-TWO

Finished work at lunch time to meet Rachel for a walk. It was awesome to catch up. Accidentally napped for 5 hours so will probably be awake until the early morning hours. 

Published ‘Routine’ on blog.

TWENTY-THREE

Cancelled plans with Lisa as I wasn’t feeling great. Woke up at 3pm. Played FF14 for a few hours with Steven and then ordered myself a takeaway. Watched some anime and chilled until late night. 

TWENTY-FOUR

Woke up late and made last minute plans for a small stroll with Rachel at the local park. Played FF14 with Mike. Watched some anime and chilled out until bedtime. 

TWENTY-FIVE

Busy day at work, lots of work done, but still finished at 2pm. Dad was sent to hospital, parents arrived home just before 5pm. Dad has been diagnosed with diabetes. Got to get used to insulin shots. Spent the rest of my evening in my bedroom writing. 

TWENTY-SIX

I didn’t do much today. Few hours at work. Went to supermarket. I also started watching a new anime, ‘Darker Than Black’. Tried to have an early night, failed. 

TWENTY-SEVEN

Very big day at work. Felt a little more like old times at work. Worked with Erin and Ben, got a little jealous. Met Lisa in the evening for a walk although we didn’t walk very much and sat in our cars and chatted. 

TWENTY-EIGHT

Today was a good day! Such a productive day at work. I never had a nap but lay down for a few hours. Spent 6 hours watching anime!

TWENTY-NINE

Today was a Positive mental day. Great day at work. Started playing ‘Ni no Kuni: Remastered’, really enjoyed the original. Played FF14 online with Mike for a few hours and had an early night. 

Published ‘An Awful Week’ on blog.

THIRTY

Woke up at 12:30pm. Started to organised my photo gift for my sister with my mums help. Met Nicola and Paul for a walk with their dog, hopefully our walks will become a weekly event again. Had a late night and watched the weeks Coronation Street. 

THIRTY-ONE

Didn’t wake up until 3pm today. Played video games all day. Cleaned my bedroom of energy drink cans and drove to recycling centre (less than a 5 min drive away). Played online with Mike at 10pm. 

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An Awful Week

Another Trip To Hospital With Dad

Just an ordinary Monday morning as I was getting ready for work. My dad told me in the morning that he had a checkup at the doctors to get some blood taken. I didn’t think anything of it as that has been a pretty common occurrence lately. Things were improving. 

Although I started to realise that my parents aren’t being completely honest with me. When I got home from work there was a note in front of the TV (that’s where we leave all our notes as it is easier to notice a piece of paper in the middle of the floor. The note was from my mum just saying that my dad had a hospital appointment at 3pm. Again, I thought nothing of it and then I decided to go for my usual after-work nap.

I awoke just before 4pm to a message saying “going to be another hour, everything is fine”. Usually I would think nothing of it – but something told me it was a little strange. I asked where she was. I then tried calling her. There was no answer and I remembered I got a new phone number a few days prior. 20 minutes had passed and my mum tried to call me over messenger but it wouldn’t connect. I also tried to call my sister because I was thinking the worst and I understand not wanting to worry her as she is unable to visit – I still didn’t want to keep her out the loop. 

What felt like the longest hour, my parents arrived home with a big bag full of things. It was then I learned that my dad had been diagnosed with diabetes. This was caused after his problems with his pancreas last year. It was quite frightening seeing all the equipment he had brought home such as the device to test blood sugar levels and the needles (that actually don’t look anything like I thought they would). 

Due to COVID restrictions, my mum was unable to accompany my dad into the hospital so she had to wait in the car. This means that when the nurse was explaining how to use the equipment he wasn’t 100% sure. My mum called my neighbour over, a family friend that my mum has worked with for many years, who also lives alone. But we disregarded the lockdown rules as this was important – but they all still wore masks and I watched from a distance. My mums friend/colleague has experience with diabetics so she was extremely helpful in explaining what everything was to my mum.

Afterwards I told my mum she had to let my sister know. Then she told me that she was already told last night that my dad was getting tested for diabetes. I don’t think I was intentionally left out of knowing, just that things were moving quite fast. My dad managed his first insulin shot himself and knows what he has to do. It’s nice that we have someone so close by that is able to help if we are struggling. My dad needs to take 1 shot a day of the daily insulin and a shot 15 minutes before each lunch/tea time. So from what I understand it will be 3 shots per day.

The news came as a bit of a shock to me but now I’ve had time to think about it. I have many friends that have type 1 diabetes and one of my friends has spoken to me in depth about what she has to do every day. It’s a scary thought because it’s new but I believe everything is going to be alright. 

Photographs For My Sister

I ordered just under 600 photos for my sister. There was a 50% off offer on a website I use regularly so decided to use the opportunity to print all the old photos that I scanned into my computer many years ago. These are photos from childhood albums of us growing up and also some older photos from before we were born from when my mum was a child. 

I think these would be a really nice thing for her as she has a small family of her own now. I think that all families have some sort of unorganised collection of photos. I want to get some more printed as well of family photos we’ve taken over the many Christmases and events that have passed. I think that she would appreciate this. Even my nephew will appreciate it when he is older, to have photos of his grandparents and uncle – and child photos of his mum as well!

I have bought a ‘photo organiser box’ thing. It has 16 compartments that can hold 100 photos each. So the whole thing will be able to hold up to 1,6000 photos. This will be a great way so she is able to add her own photos to it as well. I’m going to spend tomorrow with my parents looking through the photos and getting them into estimated piles for each compartment. The first compartment will be older photos from before my sister and I was born. The second and third might be sorted into family holidays and birthday parties. I’m not sure exactly but I’m quite excited to make a start on it.

Cashless Society

I read online that some supermarkets card/contactless machines went offline and people were asked to pay by cash. This got me thinking about the last time I used cash; not counting the times I’ve borrowed notes off my mum to get fuel. I don’t think I’ve used physical money since February 2020. Every purchase I’ve made has been either a card or contactless transaction. 

I really miss using coins. I sincerely hope that we can all go back to using coins after lockdown is over. I’m the kind of person that would save up all my coins and use them at self scan machines – usually before the store closes so I don’t have a queue behind me. At one point I had over £30 in small change. 

I also love foreign currency. I would always ensure I brought some back with me. I know it’s pointless. But I would put it in a small box in hopes that I could go back to that place at some point. That came in very handy when my Aunt was travelling through somewhere that required euros but her final destination didn’t use euros. I gave her a few €1 and €2 coins. Saved her a lot of money on unfair exchange rates at the airport. 

I am also a bit of a coin collector. If I see a limited edition coin I would keep it. I have so many obscure 50p coins. I also have some of the older 10p and 50p coins when they were thicker. Although I have no memory of actually using those coins, I still find them fascinating.  

A Normal Work Day

On Wednesday we were back to doing our normal job. It felt so good. There was 6 of us in total on site and I got a chance to see Ben again. We didn’t get much chance to talk but I was trying to remain as normal as possible. Erin was also working with us. Our project has almost come to an end and a part of me doesn’t want it to end. I really enjoy working with my team. We have about 2 months left I reckon.

Vaccinations at 9.4%

Today the vaccinations in Scotland are up to 9.4% of the population for the first dose. I do wish the number would rise a little faster as this is our way back to normality. Next week there is meant to be mass vaccination centres opening up over the country – also a review of lockdown restrictions on Tuesday.

91 million people worldwide have had their vaccination that is up from 60 million last week.

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Routine

Weekly Routine

My weekly routine lately hasn’t been that great to be honest. I am so thankful to be able to get into work and I don’t know what I would do if that wasn’t possible. I work Monday to Friday and leave home around 930am and get to work around 10am. I get home from work between 3 and 4 it just depends on the jobs we are asked to do. I have something to eat with my parents at 4:30pm, it’s so nice to be able to eat as a family although we don’t really talk much. Most days I go for a nap for a varied amount of time. Sometimes I just rest for 30 minutes and other times it may be 3 hours. I find it hard to sleep at normal times because my sleeping schedule is in 2 parts. Sometimes I go to bed a little after midnight and other times it may be 3-4am. 

The weekend is much different. I may stay awake until 5/6am on a Friday and Saturday night and not get out of bed until 4pm. There isn’t much to do these days as with lockdown restrictions. I’ve always had trouble with a normal sleep routine and it is so difficult to try and fix that, especially when the only thing I can really do is work. Although I have really enjoyed my Saturday evening walks with Lisa as you are still allowed to meet 1 other person from another household but only outdoors. I think it is important for me to remain connected with others although it may be difficult .

Routine has always been extremely important to me and I hope that as and when lockdown restrictions are lifted I could fix my routine into a little more normality. I would love to be the kind of person that is awake by 9am every day and is actually tired by 10pm. Also not feeling the need for a nap during the day. 

Final Fantasy XIV with Mike

Last week I mentioned that I play Final Fantasy XIV with Mike and I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned him in any of my diaries before. We went through high school together and we have been friends since we were about 14 years old. We were very close at one point but then when we were 16 we just drifted apart. 

It wasn’t until I was 19 and bumped into him at a gay bar that we eventually became close again. I never even knew he was gay. It wasn’t until the 3rd or 4th time that I bumped into him in the bar that he eventually told me. Having told me he was just there with his flatmate which then he told me it was actually his boyfriend. 

Throughout the last few months playing online with him has been something we both look forward to and sometimes we go through different sorts of emotions. Like if either of us has had a bad day or feeling rather go, it gives us a chance to vent and let it all out. 

Not only have we played Final Fantasy XIV together for 7 years but the franchise has been in the foundations of our friendship since we were just 14 years old. We like to talk about our memories of the previous games and it’s always brought us close.

A Plague Tale: Innocence 

I started playing ‘A Plague Tale: Innocence’ on the PS4 and I completed it within a few days. It came out at the beginning of 2019 and it’s been in my wish list since then. I love those kind of story games that aren’t too long but short and to the point. I think I spent between 10 and 15 hours on it. The game is set during real world events but is mostly fiction. Set in France in the 1300’s during the time of the great plague and the war with the English. The plague really puts coronavirus into perspective. This current pandemic that we are in, which is what I thought about a lot when I was playing, awful as it may be. But we are safe if we stay at home and there aren’t any rats that carry this disease. 

I hope that I can buy and play more games like this with a decent gripping story. Also I love games that I can complete in just a few days and still feel the satisfaction of everything you could get from a AAA title. Although I still love games that offer me up to 100 hours of gameplay. 

Walk With Rachel

We met in a park in town just before 2pm after I had finished work. We were together for around an hour and a half and although the car park was full, there wasn’t many people walking around. I reckon it’s because people are sticking to the 2 people only rule. It was a nice walk and we both really needed that. I hadn’t seen Rachel since the beginning of December and we had a fair bit to catch up on.  We might go for another walk in the next few weeks. 

My favourite thing in the summer is to go out for an evening adventure. When it is still daylight at 8pm and the weather is warm enough to not need a jacket. A little drive to the beach or some wooded area. Maybe snap a few photographs and watch the sunset. Those are some of the things I miss about the summer and I am holding onto a hope that we will be able to do some of those things this year. 

Vaccinations at 6.6%

Today the vaccinations in Scotland are 6.6% of the population. That number isn’t as high as it should be in comparison to last week as last week only included those over the age of 18. So this percentage is the total population and look forward to seeing that number rise.

60 million people worldwide have had their vaccination out of a worldwide population of 7.8 billion. 

The second dose is still at 0.1%